not so much an accident but rather a blessing in disguise

So, allow me to tell you a story about a boy who was driving on the 520 bridge that connects the west side (seattle) and the east side (kirkland/bellevue/redmond). Maybe even imagine yourself in his shoes. Picture it as a sunny, sunday afternoon with maybe a window down and enjoying the beautiful scene of the water as you cross the bridge, pondering about the things spoken at church earlier that day. You feel God nudging at your heart concerning your faithfulness and the direction in which your relationship is going, which happens to be nowhere... You think to yourself, I'm going to change the way I've been prioritizing my time and the things I've been doing to occupy my life, and it all sounds good. You turn to your friend in the car who happens to be thinking to himself, and you maybe say a quick comment or two, but then suddenly, that massive, suv, car you were following at a safe distance in front of you quickly swerves out of your lane (left) into the right one without any indication that he was planning to do so, and you begin to panic because his car barely missed a stopped one, with no lane to change to and approximately four seconds to go from 60 to 0, you slam on the brakes and pray for dear life, just then you slam into the back of that car and come to a painfully screeching halt, still befuddled about everything that just transpired. You realize that not only did you total your car, but the car in front of you, and also damage the car in front of it. You think to yourself, this isn't right, why are they stopped on the bridge?!? Frustration causes your head to feel like it's going to explode and you begin to wonder WHY ME? You leap out of your car and check to see if everyone is alright and things seem fine, for the time being anyway.
Shortly after, the police arrive in order to fill out the report and check to see if everyone is alright. They push your car off the bridge because it will not start and pour sand on the ground to cover up the fluids that once occupied your vehicle, and before you know it, what was originally going to be a beautiful day and a time of spiritual awakening, becomes a nightmare where you're stranded on the side of the road and everyone has left you in the scorching heat of the day. You eventually get your car home by a tow truck and think to yourself, well at least my insurance will take care of it. But wait, you come to understand that through poor communication you never had it to begin with. What originally was a salvageable situation becomes a hopeless one.
Flashforwarding approximately two weeks, you come to know via insurance companies that you will be required to pay 25,000 out of your own pocket. It hits you like a brick to the chest. So many thoughts flood your mind. How can this happen? How will I pay for it? How will I be able to do the things that God has "called" me to do? How will I get myself around without a car? How is this fair???!!! You begin to question your luck, and how the future will turn out for your remainder of college and how you will be able to enjoy and thrive in school, be involved with the body of Christ and still pay off this massive bill. It seems completely hopeless. You receive prayer and support from your friends, which is a blessing, but it doesn't shake you of this nasty feeling you begin to sink into.
As you're sitting in your room, reliving the accident in your head, God gently whispers into your ears, " why are you so concerned over this? Don't you know that all things will pass away and your life is but a mist?" And then he reveals something to you that you originally didn't want to hear, but now praise God for these words. He says," I am not concerned over your financial situation, I am not concerned whether or not you are happy with life or that you have great self esteem, I am not concerned that your college experience is not going to turn out the way you had hoped for. But I am concerned for your soul. You are choosing death, when I offer you life, you expect me to bless you and give you the privilege of being a part of my plan, and then indulge in things that you know I hate. Your lust for sin and your love of the world has brought you away from me." It is through this that he reveals all of your sin that you have been committing shamelessly in the past couple of months, and in some ways, years, and it breaks you. You sob like a baby because you begin to feel and understand a glimpse of the pain that is inflicted on God by your sin. You immediately crawl to your knees in repentance because you know that if you were to try to live this life without Jesus, you will only find death, but solely through faith in him will he give you life. It is enough to make you never want to sin again, and although it is impossible on this side of death, it is an unachievable goal you want to strive for anyways.
You realize for the first time in this moment that you are finally at ease with the whole situation because when placed in its rightful place, this accident is nothing more than a suspended moment in time, and the God of the universe is eternal. You understand that your actions based on your circumstances do affect your soul and that all things will pass away, but the decisions you make now and the attitude you choose to harbor will affect you in the eternal.
God has blessed me with this unfortunate situation, and I've never felt more at peace because I understand a little bit more of who Jesus is, what he has done, and what he continually does in the lives of those who are faithful. God is graceful, merciful and good. And although we are depraved, disgusting, completely sinful and disobedient to a holy God, he does not turn his back on us.